How Would you Like Your Funeral?

Create A Great Funeral Day

I guess you should plan

your own funeral today…

It’s Halloween tomorrow

and that’s when the earth opens up

 and all of the scary creatures escape…

 if you don’t dress up

and look scary too,

they will most likely kill you.

 Good to be prepared with a good funeral!

Righto…

I want a sunny day.

If that’s not possible,

I want a rippin’ good storm.

Thunder booming and

lightning tearing across the sky…

 Rain pelting down

and turning the ground to mud.

I’m going for cremation…

and then, scattering.

(while this may be illegal,

I still want to be scattered,

so this may have to be done

on another stormy night,

so no one sees! –

Nope, It’s ok.

 I just checked with the

NSW Health Department’s site a

nd they said it’s ok to scatter ashes

 because all micro-organisms

are killed off in the 750–900 degrees fire…

 though, you need permission

from councils to dump ashes

in their parks, etc.

So… back to dark clothes

and stormy nights,

so you avoid the pages of paperwork!)

I’m not really a fan of funerals…

I’m not too concerned about my own.

 I expect a few tears will be shed

 and someone will say a few nice words…

and then someone will talk about

my weird habits and strange behaviour

and everyone will enjoy a little chuckle.

I like the Thai style

of having a party for a few days…

 streets are closed to traffic,

music blares until all hours

and my life could be celebrated.

It might be fun to have me laid out

 on the dining room table l

ike in the “old’ days!

Then, everyone would cover their mirrors…

(You know I’m coming back

to play tricks on you!

Covered mirrors won’t stop me!)

Music? – I don’t really care.

I like most music anyway.

Food? I won't be eating it!

Clothes for the bereaved… colourful.

Flowers?

Whatever is in season and plentiful.

If you can get them from the

side of the road

(again – dark clothes and

under cover of night!)

go for it!

And the coffin – cheap and nasty is fine –

 it’s being burned at 750-900 degrees anyway!!

Clothes… something comfy –

though, they will be burned, too…

so who cares!

My organs – take them out…

give them to anyone who wants them!

Respectful mourning time…

give me a couple of days,

at least

and then you can sell of my stuff

and move on with your life.

So, in conclusion…

If you can burn me in a bonfire –

go for it.

Otherwise, do whatever you need to do…

but know I’ll be watching!