Country Hits

Ha!    Fun!

Today is

Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day.

  I had to head to Google

 to see what I could find.

How about these:

If I Had A Nose Full Of Nickels,

I’d Sneeze Them All Atchoo! 

(Lou Carter)

Get Your Biscuits in the Oven

and Your Buns In the Bed

(Kinky Friedman)

Flushed From The Bathroom

 Of Your Heart

(Johnny Cash)

Did I Shave My Legs For This?

(Deanna Carter)

Every Time I Itch

I Wind Up Scratching You

(Johnny Cash)

Too Much Month

At The End Of My Money

(Marty Stuart)

You’re The Reason

Our Kids Are Ugly

There’s A Tear In My Beer

I Wanna Whip Your Cow

I’d Rather Hear A Fat Girl Fart,

Than A Pretty Boy Sing

If The Phone Doesn’t Ring,

It’s Me

Thanks to this link,

this one and this one.

Aussie Jingle Bells

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas…

With chestnuts roasting on an open fire…

With icicles hanging from the roof and

snowmen sitting in the front yard.

Dreaming is right!

In Australia –

people are roasting in the summer heat

And the grass in the lawn is crunchy

and brown from the sun’s heat

Here’s a Jingle Bells song… Aussie style

Dashing through the bush
In a rusty Holden Ute
Kicking up the dust
Esky in the boot
Kelpie by my side
Singing Christmas songs
It’s summer time and I am in
My singlet, shorts & thongs

OH, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
JINGLE ALL THE WAY
CHRISTMAS IN AUSTRALIA
ON A SCORCHING SUMMER’S DAY
JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS
CHRISTMAS TIME IS BEAUT
OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE
IN A RUSTY HOLDEN UTE

Engine’s getting hot
Dodge the kangaroos
Swaggy climbs aboard
He is welcome too
All the family is there
Sitting by the pool
Christmas day, the Aussie way
By the barbecue!

OH, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS…

Come the afternoon
Grandpa has a doze
The kids and uncle Bruce
Are swimming in their clothes
The time comes round to go
We take a family snap
Then pack the car and all shoot through
Before the washing up

OH, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS…

 

 So, Santa ditches the sleigh for the Aussie ute…

He ditches the reindeer for the kelpie dog. 

He’s dashing down the country roads

with an esky/cooler of beer

in the boot/trunk of the car.

Santa ditches that heavy red coat

for an Aussie singlet and some shorts.

He ditches the black boots for some rubber thongs.

Being a caring guy, he picks up the swaggie –

a term relating way back to the 1930’s Depression –

but today’s long-term,

scruffy backpacker would be the same thing.

Before long, an uncle has pushed some kid

into the pool – resulting in a few other

people being tossed into the pool

– clothes and all.

Knowing they won’t get together for a while,

the family huddles into a group –

smiles and photos are taken…

And then

It’s time…

The kitchen is roasting with the

heat of the day

and the crazy tradition

of roasting meat for hours. 

Dishes, plates, cups and cutlery

fill every surface of the kitchen…

leading to the sneaky – but crucial…

Shooting through before the washing up

(but possibly after a few feeble

offers to do the dishes!)

Happy Christmas – Aussie Style

Surfing Santa

Santa @ Uluru

Sounds like Fun

As I cleaned up the music storeroom, locked the doors

and walked away from my short-lived music teaching career...

my eyes moved once more across the wonderful instruments,

which had filled my days with wonderful sounds.

A Thorny Topic

I'm a teacher.

I have been teaching for almost 13 years.

In all of that time, there is one subject which I

have managed to avoid...

Music...

...and this is why -

I don't understand this! It is like another language - a language which I never learned. It is full of secret symbols and encrypted messages. I recognise some of the symbols.... I even know some musical terms. I know that there is a line of notes in the top picture - but those notes with the tails... and those ones where they join up at the top... I'm lost.

If I don't understand it, I can't teach it.

So, I was surprised when I was asked to replace our music teacher while she was away on holidays. This teacher is lovely. She's energetic and enthusiastic and our students are lucky to have her as their teacher. She is very efficient and highly organised, and for this, I am very grateful. It was her efficiency which made her type up a few sheets of paper for me. These sheets of paper were my lifeline and I clung to them desperately during the first week. On these pages, she told me where I needed to be and when I needed to be there. She told me which resources I needed to take with me, which storeroom I would find the resources in and the best times to collect, set up, clean and return the sources. I followed her detailed notes absolutely and relied on them totally. They were constantly with me and never far from my reach. By the second week, I was beginning to feel more confident. This allowed my child-like curiosity and energy to set in. I began looking through the storerooms to find interesting instruments. This is one instrument I found...

...a rainstick.

I love these! I started to carry the rainstick around to all of my classes. I would sit in front of the students and play the instrument. Their little faces would light up and they would watch with excitement. Then, I would tell them that the rainstick had nothing to do with the lesson. I told them that I loved the rainstick and was playing just because it was so cool. Then I would go on with my lesson.

Another teacher saw me carrying the rainstick around. He can read music. He understands those symbols and encrypted messages. He can even write sheet music! He said this to me: Did you know that this instrument originated in Peru. Did you know,that this instrument was used by the ancient tribesmen to serenade the Gods.... They played the rainstick to the Gods in the hope that the Gods would let the rain fall over their fields and crops. Did you know, he asked, that this instrument was made from a cactus.

A cactus? Of course, he was right.

The ancient tribesmen would cut off the dead ranches of the cactus tree. The men would then hollow out the branch and be left with something looking like this...

Then they would get a hammer or stone and hammer the thorns back through the cactus. They would push the thorns into the cactus, so that the centre of the branch was a mass of thorns - layers on layers of thorns.

The tribesmen would seal off one end of the branch. Then, they poured dried berries, pebbles or grain into the branch and sealed off the top end. Each time they turned the branch, gravity would push the pebbles or grain to the lowest point of the branch. As the pebbles fell towards the lowest point, they would hit each of the thorns.

The impact of the pebbles on the thorns creates the beautiful sound of the rainmaker.

I am finishing my last days as the music teacher...

This is what I have learned - I don't need to know how to read sheet music to teach young children music. I don't need to understand all of those secret symbols. If I can teach a child to love the rainmaker, there is a real chance that they will be interested in music. This interest will encourage them to learn to read the secret symbols when they are given the chance.

I won't avoid teaching music anymore.

(This was my tenth Toastmasters Speech! It won another trophy.)